So, I'm sitting here, with two jumpers on AND a pair of socks, because it so unbelievably cold down here!
This is seriously the coldest december I can remember (hey that rhymes)- all the animals are practically without water because I cannot keep it from freezing over within a few hours.
The ground is covered with snow and it looks great... if only my camera wasn't dead. =(
Anyways, this month- I was baptised!
It felt great to do. I needed to do it, I needed to obey God, so it was good.
I seriously wish I'd gotten a haircut first though, because looking back on the video, my poor excuse of a fringe keeps falling into my eyes and getting in my way,- its not a nice sight.
It's the christmas holidays, and I'm all on my own again. I don't like it, but I haven't collapsed in a twisted heap (yet) like last time. It's just this feeling of loneliness and unimportance, while everybody around me is leading this fantastic life- Janelle's flying to Florida right now, to be with all her amazing American friends who I wish I could be, the girls in church are all gearing up for a great christmas with their families- I'm just trying not to burst in to tears everytime I think about it.
It seems like there is nothing significant about my life right now. I try to turn to other things to forget that this christmas "family" isn't going to be a nice encounter, only to find that nearly every other aspect of my life is going downhill too. Friendships aren't great, the house is a mess, dad isn't great, our christmas tree is artificial (!) We are sorely lacking that lovely "gather around the fire together" fellowship. I am so feeling the absence of a good group of friends who I can talk to freely and enjoy these holidays with. Even though I have the oppurtunities to be part of something like that, I can't do it, I can't seem to talk, or participate- I'm just an add-on trailing behind the group.
And although these are such small matters compared to the wider scale of things, its hard not to listen to these thoughts when you're all alone in the house the day before christmas eve.
I really really wish I was Janelle sometimes!
but then it struck me last night- that all the people I wish I knew, or was close to or was enjoying the company of- all the lovely interesting aspects of their characters- was created by God, who in His character has every facet of loveliness you could imagine- and He is here with me all the time.- He's really the best company.
So that's what motivated me to get out my study bible this morning and spend some time in 1 Peter.
Even though I didn't feel immediately "transformed", I feel better for knowing I've actually done something worth something today.
Dad and I might go late night shopping tonight, - it will probably be the highlight of my week! (sad, I know).
Maybe one day, christmas holidays will be a nice wholesome time again.. for now, I've just got to keep my eyes on Jesus, my only hope.
Wednesday, 23 December 2009
Thursday, 12 November 2009
... And In His Glory We Will Live........
This evening I feel rather tired, downtrodden and sad. I came home to a dark, cold, empty house today. No Joanna singing in her room, no Basshunter music from Tim in the computer room, no mum to watch Gilmore Girls with. No way I can regain it. ever. Going over her house is a disturbing experience. She is not the person I confide in anymore. It's not real. its not proper. Its horrible. Its just another thing she always fails to understand.
Yet listening to this song tonight, "There is a day"- which ironically was a favourite of my mum and dads back when, and I remember how fantastic my hope is.
"There is a day that all creations waiting for, a day of freedom and liberation for the earth. and on that day the Lord will come to meet His bride. and when we see him in an instant we'll be changed. the trumpet sounds and the dead will then be raised by His power never to perish again,... we will meet him in the air and then we will be like Him, for we will see Him as He is. oh yeah!! Then all hurt and pain will cease and we'll be with Him forever and in His Glory we will live."
I will live with God. No more empty, echoing house, filled with memories and sadness for what is lost. No more mess (I hope!), no more darkness, no more sadness, no more tears, no more sharp stabbing pain at things that mum left here from years ago. Just light and beauty and every good thing, everything I long for now. People and friendship and family. Perfection- worship without a dormant heart, praising and delighting in His presence without a "happy days- its getting late folks, see you next week." Amazing satisfaction for every deferred hope. Walking with Jesus and being like Him. Genuine truth, and genuine love. Spending forever and a day there. Oh I can't wait. I can't wait.
Yet listening to this song tonight, "There is a day"- which ironically was a favourite of my mum and dads back when, and I remember how fantastic my hope is.
"There is a day that all creations waiting for, a day of freedom and liberation for the earth. and on that day the Lord will come to meet His bride. and when we see him in an instant we'll be changed. the trumpet sounds and the dead will then be raised by His power never to perish again,... we will meet him in the air and then we will be like Him, for we will see Him as He is. oh yeah!! Then all hurt and pain will cease and we'll be with Him forever and in His Glory we will live."
I will live with God. No more empty, echoing house, filled with memories and sadness for what is lost. No more mess (I hope!), no more darkness, no more sadness, no more tears, no more sharp stabbing pain at things that mum left here from years ago. Just light and beauty and every good thing, everything I long for now. People and friendship and family. Perfection- worship without a dormant heart, praising and delighting in His presence without a "happy days- its getting late folks, see you next week." Amazing satisfaction for every deferred hope. Walking with Jesus and being like Him. Genuine truth, and genuine love. Spending forever and a day there. Oh I can't wait. I can't wait.
Monday, 24 August 2009
The best and worst of the Summer
Worst-
Anna and Bethany leaving
Being so lonely and having no motivation to do anything
Coming home from SS- and back to reality =(
The fact that I want to see the Holy Spirit present and working and our church doesn't let him in.
Saying bye to Sarah and Ivy
Talking to Mum after SS and realizing that she doesnt think she needs to repent now because she has divorced Dad (she hasn't, yet, not completely legally) and because of this thinking that she is no longer in immorality.
Best-
Holiday Club at Christchurch
having Beth over for 3 days
SOUL SURVIVOR-- Jesus!! The Holy Spirit! Speaking in tounges!
being with Emily, Bryony and the Dainties for 6 days- worshipping in the car on the way back from SS.
Getting to know Emily better
Learning some beautiful worship songs from SS
Transforming my bedroom, and finishing it!
Mike Pilavachi's Irish dancing
Dad coming up for Soul Survivor day 3
The soul survivor smoothies
29th Chapter gigs
Going back to high jump and doing well
Jess Ennis winning world championships heptathlon
Soul survivor doughnuts
Getting lost with Bryony and seeing the "distracting worship leader"
New visions for worshipping God and for relationships
Feeling God's presence again
Going to the Harvester with Dad, Tim and Jo
Soul Survivor worship times, Holy Spirit healing people
realizing that God answers prayers
All in all, it seems the bests outweigh the worsts!
Praise God.
x
Anna and Bethany leaving
Being so lonely and having no motivation to do anything
Coming home from SS- and back to reality =(
The fact that I want to see the Holy Spirit present and working and our church doesn't let him in.
Saying bye to Sarah and Ivy
Talking to Mum after SS and realizing that she doesnt think she needs to repent now because she has divorced Dad (she hasn't, yet, not completely legally) and because of this thinking that she is no longer in immorality.
Best-
Holiday Club at Christchurch
having Beth over for 3 days
SOUL SURVIVOR-- Jesus!! The Holy Spirit! Speaking in tounges!
being with Emily, Bryony and the Dainties for 6 days- worshipping in the car on the way back from SS.
Getting to know Emily better
Learning some beautiful worship songs from SS
Transforming my bedroom, and finishing it!
Mike Pilavachi's Irish dancing
Dad coming up for Soul Survivor day 3
The soul survivor smoothies
29th Chapter gigs
Going back to high jump and doing well
Jess Ennis winning world championships heptathlon
Soul survivor doughnuts
Getting lost with Bryony and seeing the "distracting worship leader"
New visions for worshipping God and for relationships
Feeling God's presence again
Going to the Harvester with Dad, Tim and Jo
Soul Survivor worship times, Holy Spirit healing people
realizing that God answers prayers
All in all, it seems the bests outweigh the worsts!
Praise God.
x
Tuesday, 4 August 2009
I wish I lived in America. and went to American high school, and did track and field high school athletics and watched cheerleaders and understood the term "varsity". And Americans seem to have a ton of friends. And they smile a lot. And they all seem really pretty.
Anyhow, thats all I really wanted to say.
lonely person.
x
Anyhow, thats all I really wanted to say.
lonely person.
x
Friday, 3 July 2009
I Love God!
Today has been a really hard day, in fact: most of the week has, and the whole year pretty much.
Today I finished school, end of year ten, looking ahead to year eleven, which I still can’t quite believe.
The place I am in life at this moment is so different to how I imagined it would be.
My family live in two houses, my best friends are heading that way too, moving out of the country even…
I know so many people go through these things all the time, and much worse.
Yet, it doesn’t make anything any easier.
Everything is so twisted at the moment.
I never ever thought I would be able to cope with divorcing parents, and now my two best friends who have been with me through it all, are leaving! Not only has Anna left the school, which was big enough for as it was (it seemed almost bigger to me that it did to her!), and now Bethany has left too. She said a tearful goodbye to everyone today, to the teachers, and I still can’t believe it could be the end. I’m beyond upset about it. I love them both so much, although I can’t communicate that fact very well to them, I wish they knew just how much I will miss them.
My old life is so far away from me I can’t even see it.
And while my mum’s off squandering her time in abject sin, all I can think about is the things we are all missing, as I’m surrounded by families and the life they have… I realise how much I loved what I’ve now lost. I imagine what it would be like to have that back for a day…and how much I would savour having a pure, whole, secure family again…how much more I would appreciate it.
And I pray every night to have it back…knowing that God really can do everything, everything I don’t think is possible.
My mum is beyond recognition, the relationship we had is in pieces, from my end anyway.
I really miss the feeling of being loved, and valued, and having confidence in her.
I really really really HATE what she’s done. And I feel the consequences everyday, while she’s living a life of seemingly bliss…with a “family” and everything. My only consolation is that it won’t endure, it really won’t.
I’ve been listening to the song I chose as a kind of “theme” song last year, the day before school started. (It's "Faithful: Brooke Fraser") The summer before was the one mum had moved out and everything was still new and fresh. As I was on my own in the house, sat in the living room sorting my bag for school, with the song playing loudly from the computer room, I said to myself… “this year is going to be really hard, but you have just got to keep trusting God, even when you feel the opposite, and the days get harder and harder to maintain a happy heart, and a hope for the future.” And, although the times I’ve failed are beyond count, and the hardness of my heart, and all the wrong decisions I made, when I put other things above Him are horrible to recall, I’m still here, still trusting, I’m so grateful to God that He kept me.
Praise God that in all these hard times He is constant!!! One thing I throw my whole weight against and He will not shift!!!!!!! And he works all things for good!!!!! For good!
Such worn out phrases- sometimes the words don’t mean much, but the understanding and the concept of what they mean to me is so powerful and so beautiful, I can’t explain how thankful I am to God, and how encouraging He is to me. He’s given me a hope for the future, that no trial now can take away.
A wonderful verse that has been coming to mind a lot recently is, “In this world you will have tribulation, but take heart, I have overcome the world.”
It almost feels like a throwaway comment, like saying, “as if the world has any power over me, trials you are facing are never out of my control, always were in my hands, always will be. I provide you with all you need and more to face them, and in the end I make them end up for your good.- what power does Satan and trouble have against Him?! He truly has overcome it! (which is probably a bad interpretation of what that verse means, but it’s a train of thought it took me on.)
I just sigh and smile when I remember those promises, because when I remember them, I feel relief, rest and security again…nothing can shake me, I’m belong to Jesus. And even better, is that my security isn’t in my mum, my friends, my family, or anything it was in before,- it’s in God, simply because there’s nothing else that’s standing strong except Him. See, already good is coming. I have hope!
(I’m so sorry for whoever is reading this, if you even persevered to the end, because this is such an unorganized unloading of thoughts and feelings...they don’t hold much value to anyone except me. Thanks for whoever took the time out to read it.)
here's a song that pretty much sums up what I feel right now...
I have a shelter in the storm
When troubles pour upon me
Though fears are rising like a flood
My soul can rest securely
O Jesus, I will hide in You
My place of peace and solace
No trial is deeper than Your love
That comforts all my sorrows
I have a shelter in the storm
When all my sins accuse me
Though justice charges me with guilt
Your grace will not refuse me
O Jesus, I will hide in You
Who bore my condemnation
I find my refuge in Your wounds
For there I find salvation
I have a shelter in the storm
When constant winds would break me
For in my weakness, I have learned
Your strength will not forsake me
O Jesus, I will hide in You
The One who bears my burdens
With faithful hands that cannot fail
You’ll bring me home to heaven
Today I finished school, end of year ten, looking ahead to year eleven, which I still can’t quite believe.
The place I am in life at this moment is so different to how I imagined it would be.
My family live in two houses, my best friends are heading that way too, moving out of the country even…
I know so many people go through these things all the time, and much worse.
Yet, it doesn’t make anything any easier.
Everything is so twisted at the moment.
I never ever thought I would be able to cope with divorcing parents, and now my two best friends who have been with me through it all, are leaving! Not only has Anna left the school, which was big enough for as it was (it seemed almost bigger to me that it did to her!), and now Bethany has left too. She said a tearful goodbye to everyone today, to the teachers, and I still can’t believe it could be the end. I’m beyond upset about it. I love them both so much, although I can’t communicate that fact very well to them, I wish they knew just how much I will miss them.
My old life is so far away from me I can’t even see it.
And while my mum’s off squandering her time in abject sin, all I can think about is the things we are all missing, as I’m surrounded by families and the life they have… I realise how much I loved what I’ve now lost. I imagine what it would be like to have that back for a day…and how much I would savour having a pure, whole, secure family again…how much more I would appreciate it.
And I pray every night to have it back…knowing that God really can do everything, everything I don’t think is possible.
My mum is beyond recognition, the relationship we had is in pieces, from my end anyway.
I really miss the feeling of being loved, and valued, and having confidence in her.
I really really really HATE what she’s done. And I feel the consequences everyday, while she’s living a life of seemingly bliss…with a “family” and everything. My only consolation is that it won’t endure, it really won’t.
I’ve been listening to the song I chose as a kind of “theme” song last year, the day before school started. (It's "Faithful: Brooke Fraser") The summer before was the one mum had moved out and everything was still new and fresh. As I was on my own in the house, sat in the living room sorting my bag for school, with the song playing loudly from the computer room, I said to myself… “this year is going to be really hard, but you have just got to keep trusting God, even when you feel the opposite, and the days get harder and harder to maintain a happy heart, and a hope for the future.” And, although the times I’ve failed are beyond count, and the hardness of my heart, and all the wrong decisions I made, when I put other things above Him are horrible to recall, I’m still here, still trusting, I’m so grateful to God that He kept me.
Praise God that in all these hard times He is constant!!! One thing I throw my whole weight against and He will not shift!!!!!!! And he works all things for good!!!!! For good!
Such worn out phrases- sometimes the words don’t mean much, but the understanding and the concept of what they mean to me is so powerful and so beautiful, I can’t explain how thankful I am to God, and how encouraging He is to me. He’s given me a hope for the future, that no trial now can take away.
A wonderful verse that has been coming to mind a lot recently is, “In this world you will have tribulation, but take heart, I have overcome the world.”
It almost feels like a throwaway comment, like saying, “as if the world has any power over me, trials you are facing are never out of my control, always were in my hands, always will be. I provide you with all you need and more to face them, and in the end I make them end up for your good.- what power does Satan and trouble have against Him?! He truly has overcome it! (which is probably a bad interpretation of what that verse means, but it’s a train of thought it took me on.)
I just sigh and smile when I remember those promises, because when I remember them, I feel relief, rest and security again…nothing can shake me, I’m belong to Jesus. And even better, is that my security isn’t in my mum, my friends, my family, or anything it was in before,- it’s in God, simply because there’s nothing else that’s standing strong except Him. See, already good is coming. I have hope!
(I’m so sorry for whoever is reading this, if you even persevered to the end, because this is such an unorganized unloading of thoughts and feelings...they don’t hold much value to anyone except me. Thanks for whoever took the time out to read it.)
here's a song that pretty much sums up what I feel right now...
I have a shelter in the storm
When troubles pour upon me
Though fears are rising like a flood
My soul can rest securely
O Jesus, I will hide in You
My place of peace and solace
No trial is deeper than Your love
That comforts all my sorrows
I have a shelter in the storm
When all my sins accuse me
Though justice charges me with guilt
Your grace will not refuse me
O Jesus, I will hide in You
Who bore my condemnation
I find my refuge in Your wounds
For there I find salvation
I have a shelter in the storm
When constant winds would break me
For in my weakness, I have learned
Your strength will not forsake me
O Jesus, I will hide in You
The One who bears my burdens
With faithful hands that cannot fail
You’ll bring me home to heaven
Friday, 15 May 2009
El Fin de Espanola
Yay for the end of Spanish, spanish vocab lists, spanish tenses, spanish exams and everything associated with Spanish! That is, until next week when we start the long and torturing journey of AS. What fun. No, seriously, today four years of spanish lessons, oral tests and embarassing moments paid off when I completed my GCSE Spanish, a small achievement for most, but for the likes of me, whose thoughts are often confined to the small and simple, it's a memorable day.
And it got me thinking, especially with the year 11's leaving next week including my best friend (which is the equivalent of the sun fizzling out and the world's ending), about how inconstant life is, how inconstant I am! In year 7 when I started out this Spanish course I never dreamed that by the time I finished it I would be where I am now. When I started the Spanish course- I had a family- mum, dad, sister, brother, - the lot. These days it's just me and my dad chillin in da house, mum's AWOL off on some moral bender I cannot begin to comprehend, leaving life behind in tatters. I know it's a common story- and people these days are not so surprised to hear about these things, but when it happens to you, you realise what a tragedy it really is when a marriage and a family God brought together is split apart because of sin.
This is a very lighthearted take on some very deep feelings, because it's late and I'm tired but I feel in a "profound" mood and I want to write something.
But the verse, "And we know that for those who love God, that is, for those who are called according to his purpose, all things are working together for good.", is one that keeps popping into my head. And it just staggers me. It really does. Because these days are the hardest of my life so far, seeing things I never ever ever ever ever (x1000) imagined I'd see- the deepest sadness I've ever known, the greatest anger, darkest despair...it's all working together for good!
Not the anger, despair etc- but the situation that causes those feelings... its working together for good. And I wish I could write about that verse in a way that does it justice, because it's just soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fantastic! How people who don't know Jesus survive in life, I will never know- when they reach that point of despair of "everythings ruined, there's no hope" and they don't have, "but I can trust God and be sure that this is sovereignly held in His control and is for my ultimate benefit", must be terrible. I'm so grateful my thoughts don't have to stop there.
And I know I can trust God- He is the same God now as He was at the beginning of my Spanish course, and now at the end, when myself and life has changed beyond recognition.
How many reasons He gives me to trust Him! And that is such a comfort.
This probably made no sense- it is now exactly and hour and half past my normal bedtime and I woke up and six thirty this morning...but that's my thought of the day.
Over and out.
And it got me thinking, especially with the year 11's leaving next week including my best friend (which is the equivalent of the sun fizzling out and the world's ending), about how inconstant life is, how inconstant I am! In year 7 when I started out this Spanish course I never dreamed that by the time I finished it I would be where I am now. When I started the Spanish course- I had a family- mum, dad, sister, brother, - the lot. These days it's just me and my dad chillin in da house, mum's AWOL off on some moral bender I cannot begin to comprehend, leaving life behind in tatters. I know it's a common story- and people these days are not so surprised to hear about these things, but when it happens to you, you realise what a tragedy it really is when a marriage and a family God brought together is split apart because of sin.
This is a very lighthearted take on some very deep feelings, because it's late and I'm tired but I feel in a "profound" mood and I want to write something.
But the verse, "And we know that for those who love God, that is, for those who are called according to his purpose, all things are working together for good.", is one that keeps popping into my head. And it just staggers me. It really does. Because these days are the hardest of my life so far, seeing things I never ever ever ever ever (x1000) imagined I'd see- the deepest sadness I've ever known, the greatest anger, darkest despair...it's all working together for good!
Not the anger, despair etc- but the situation that causes those feelings... its working together for good. And I wish I could write about that verse in a way that does it justice, because it's just soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fantastic! How people who don't know Jesus survive in life, I will never know- when they reach that point of despair of "everythings ruined, there's no hope" and they don't have, "but I can trust God and be sure that this is sovereignly held in His control and is for my ultimate benefit", must be terrible. I'm so grateful my thoughts don't have to stop there.
And I know I can trust God- He is the same God now as He was at the beginning of my Spanish course, and now at the end, when myself and life has changed beyond recognition.
How many reasons He gives me to trust Him! And that is such a comfort.
This probably made no sense- it is now exactly and hour and half past my normal bedtime and I woke up and six thirty this morning...but that's my thought of the day.
Over and out.
Saturday, 4 April 2009
Easter...Revision...Chocolate...Slippery Footholds
Thought I'd post the song that inspired the title...
INTERESTING posts coming soon Anna.........hehe.
It's been one of those days for a lot of days now
I need a day when the world can take care of itself
This isn't what I wanted how I thought my life would turn out
And I wonder if it's like this from here on out
Sometimes life gets you, but we go on
Sometimes life gets you, we're still going on
We're not done yet
Not going quietly into the night, not me and my friends
We're not done yet, don't take it too seriously
It's just life will win in the end
And we walk on and on and on and we walk on and on
It's been one of those days for too many days now
I did a thing that I didn't want to do again
I fell down in the place where I always fall down and I wanna give up
And let it be what it's been S
ometimes life gets you, but we go one
Sometimes life gets you we're still going on...
It's been one of those days but I don't care now
It was only a day and tomorrow's ahead
We got this far and I know that I can ride this one out
Though I want to lie down, well I won't quit yet
Sometimes life gets you, but we go one
Sometimes life gets you we're still going on...
We're not done yet
INTERESTING posts coming soon Anna.........hehe.
It's been one of those days for a lot of days now
I need a day when the world can take care of itself
This isn't what I wanted how I thought my life would turn out
And I wonder if it's like this from here on out
Sometimes life gets you, but we go on
Sometimes life gets you, we're still going on
We're not done yet
Not going quietly into the night, not me and my friends
We're not done yet, don't take it too seriously
It's just life will win in the end
And we walk on and on and on and we walk on and on
It's been one of those days for too many days now
I did a thing that I didn't want to do again
I fell down in the place where I always fall down and I wanna give up
And let it be what it's been S
ometimes life gets you, but we go one
Sometimes life gets you we're still going on...
It's been one of those days but I don't care now
It was only a day and tomorrow's ahead
We got this far and I know that I can ride this one out
Though I want to lie down, well I won't quit yet
Sometimes life gets you, but we go one
Sometimes life gets you we're still going on...
We're not done yet
Friday, 6 March 2009
Irredeemable
Irredeemable
I used to know how it felt to live step by step with you
Now I don’t even recognise your voice
I ran for a mile, through the treacherous rocky, flat paths
But now I can’t face the climb
And don’t you know it, Lord?
If you’re all-seeing, God?
Then what I’m hiding isn’t concealed.
I could rationalize
But you see through my lies
Right to the heart of me
That I don’t love you
Not really
What I had, and what I heard from you
Wasn’t in my head, it was undeniably true
And I am ruined for anything else this world can offer me
Because nothing compares with you
But I never listen, I never ever try
I know the concepts, but I’ve lost the fire
And I can’t blame anyone else but me
Because I know I’ve only led myself here
And you can see it Lord.
That’s what kills me most
All my acting is useless with you
But if you really see it all
Then you know my heart
And how much I want to follow you…..
Well, your love for me
Must reach so deep
If what I am has never changed your mind
You’re the shepherd
I’m the worst of your sheep
But you’re always reaching out and saving my life
You bring me back…
You’ll bring me back
Just like you always have
Even when I feel like this time I am too far gone
For my own strength I am, but for you I’m not
You bring me near, whisper the only thing I need to hear
Lord, I’m never irredeemable.
I used to know how it felt to live step by step with you
Now I don’t even recognise your voice
I ran for a mile, through the treacherous rocky, flat paths
But now I can’t face the climb
And don’t you know it, Lord?
If you’re all-seeing, God?
Then what I’m hiding isn’t concealed.
I could rationalize
But you see through my lies
Right to the heart of me
That I don’t love you
Not really
What I had, and what I heard from you
Wasn’t in my head, it was undeniably true
And I am ruined for anything else this world can offer me
Because nothing compares with you
But I never listen, I never ever try
I know the concepts, but I’ve lost the fire
And I can’t blame anyone else but me
Because I know I’ve only led myself here
And you can see it Lord.
That’s what kills me most
All my acting is useless with you
But if you really see it all
Then you know my heart
And how much I want to follow you…..
Well, your love for me
Must reach so deep
If what I am has never changed your mind
You’re the shepherd
I’m the worst of your sheep
But you’re always reaching out and saving my life
You bring me back…
You’ll bring me back
Just like you always have
Even when I feel like this time I am too far gone
For my own strength I am, but for you I’m not
You bring me near, whisper the only thing I need to hear
Lord, I’m never irredeemable.
Monday, 23 February 2009
Major Hesitations
So... St David's Day is coming up in my school and I had the insane idea of singing and playing the piano. I must be crazy! I have never done anything like this in my whole entire life and I can't really even play the piano but it looks like I'm doing it! I start quaking with nerves everytime I think about it so please pray that I will concentrate on worshipping God and not the people watching. Ahhhh! (song is Unfailing Love - Chris Tomlin, but I'm doing it Sarah Kim style.)
Today I ate what could be described as the most delicious cupcake in the world.
It made my day. Pathetic, I know, but hey- it tasted goooood!
Today I ate what could be described as the most delicious cupcake in the world.
It made my day. Pathetic, I know, but hey- it tasted goooood!
Sunday, 22 February 2009
Catching Up...
Ok, so on the off chance that this blog might actually attract anyones attention, here are a few things about me and my life that might be helpful to know.
I grew up in a Christian family, (well, I still am growing up but ya know what I mean), going to church etc etc etc. My mum was my best friend, the person I admired most. I had a fairly happy family, until in 2007 my mum strayed from God and had an affair with someone. To cut a long story short, I found out about it in February 08 and she "repented" several times before repeatedly returning to this relationship, and, in the end, my dad had to decide that enough was enough because she wasn't prepared to give it up. My parents are now in the process of divorcing. I have lost all respect for my mum, and it has been a really hard time for me, but throughout these last two years, God has slowly been using these events to turn my life around, and draw me to Him. One of the reasons I wanted to write this blog was to encourage other girls out there in similar situations, to let them know they are not alone, because I know how much I've needed to know that in these times. So if anyone ever sees this, let me know, so I know I'm not writing into thin air!
blessings
Ruthie
I grew up in a Christian family, (well, I still am growing up but ya know what I mean), going to church etc etc etc. My mum was my best friend, the person I admired most. I had a fairly happy family, until in 2007 my mum strayed from God and had an affair with someone. To cut a long story short, I found out about it in February 08 and she "repented" several times before repeatedly returning to this relationship, and, in the end, my dad had to decide that enough was enough because she wasn't prepared to give it up. My parents are now in the process of divorcing. I have lost all respect for my mum, and it has been a really hard time for me, but throughout these last two years, God has slowly been using these events to turn my life around, and draw me to Him. One of the reasons I wanted to write this blog was to encourage other girls out there in similar situations, to let them know they are not alone, because I know how much I've needed to know that in these times. So if anyone ever sees this, let me know, so I know I'm not writing into thin air!
blessings
Ruthie
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