El Fin de Espanola

Yay for the end of Spanish, spanish vocab lists, spanish tenses, spanish exams and everything associated with Spanish! That is, until next week when we start the long and torturing journey of AS. What fun. No, seriously, today four years of spanish lessons, oral tests and embarassing moments paid off when I completed my GCSE Spanish, a small achievement for most, but for the likes of me, whose thoughts are often confined to the small and simple, it's a memorable day.

And it got me thinking, especially with the year 11's leaving next week including my best friend (which is the equivalent of the sun fizzling out and the world's ending), about how inconstant life is, how inconstant I am! In year 7 when I started out this Spanish course I never dreamed that by the time I finished it I would be where I am now. When I started the Spanish course- I had a family- mum, dad, sister, brother, - the lot. These days it's just me and my dad chillin in da house, mum's AWOL off on some moral bender I cannot begin to comprehend, leaving life behind in tatters. I know it's a common story- and people these days are not so surprised to hear about these things, but when it happens to you, you realise what a tragedy it really is when a marriage and a family God brought together is split apart because of sin.

This is a very lighthearted take on some very deep feelings, because it's late and I'm tired but I feel in a "profound" mood and I want to write something.

But the verse, "And we know that for those who love God, that is, for those who are called according to his purpose, all things are working together for good.", is one that keeps popping into my head. And it just staggers me. It really does. Because these days are the hardest of my life so far, seeing things I never ever ever ever ever (x1000) imagined I'd see- the deepest sadness I've ever known, the greatest anger, darkest despair...it's all working together for good!

Not the anger, despair etc- but the situation that causes those feelings... its working together for good. And I wish I could write about that verse in a way that does it justice, because it's just soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fantastic! How people who don't know Jesus survive in life, I will never know- when they reach that point of despair of "everythings ruined, there's no hope" and they don't have, "but I can trust God and be sure that this is sovereignly held in His control and is for my ultimate benefit", must be terrible. I'm so grateful my thoughts don't have to stop there.

And I know I can trust God- He is the same God now as He was at the beginning of my Spanish course, and now at the end, when myself and life has changed beyond recognition.
How many reasons He gives me to trust Him! And that is such a comfort.

This probably made no sense- it is now exactly and hour and half past my normal bedtime and I woke up and six thirty this morning...but that's my thought of the day.
Over and out.